Most automotive TV just plain sucks. The builds are cool, but the crap crammed in around them—the pranks, fights, and painfully scripted “human interest,” is groan-worthy. So listen up, History, Discovery, and Velocity networks: Here’s nine ideas for shows that are at least more honestly named than what you’ve got.

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Robert Sorokanich is the New York-based automotive news reporter for both Road & Track and CAR and DRIVER. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.